3 Simple Ways to Get a Man’s Attention

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When I teach live classes, I’m always amazed at the shock my female students express when they realize how much simpler men are compared to women. And this difference shows up in our communication styles.

Men really are one trick ponies in a sense, operating on one or two tracks at a time. This is quite different compared to us women who are buzzzzzzing on 16 different tracks all at the same time.

This can create quite a challenge for men when they’re attempting to listen and communicate with you. Typically, when we communicate with men, we’re spinning more than one topic of conversation in the air. Men just can’t keep up – no wonder you may not feel “heard”, right?

When you’re talking a mile a minute, it can be frightening to a man. Men don’t know what to do when a cacophony of words come flying out of a woman’s mouth. Often, they just want to run or glaze over from information overload.

We women have a zillion things going on in our head about everything under the sun and can’t believe that men don’t have more on their mind than we do. You may find you’re always wondering what a man is thinking because you assume there’s as much going on between his ears as you.

Not true!

Honestly, men aren’t thinking about much at any given time. They’re thinking about their next big deal at work, the football game, their car etc… NOT things like: “I wonder if she’s being quiet because she’s mad at me for that thing I did 20 years ago?”

As a woman, you have a large capacity and thrive on this random continual buzz.  Men are the opposite. He thrives when everything is calm and steady state. If you’ve ever spent more than a few days alone in the company of a man you may have noticed on day three or four you have an argument.

Why? When women experience too much “steady state”, our battery gets depleted so we create an argument to stir things up and avoid boredom. Oh, what adorable, mysterious creatures we are!

So if you’re natural way is 16 different random tracks, yet you want to get his attention and feel heard – here’s my simple tricks to do that:

1. Always Start Here
If there’s something important you want to say to a man, you need to have his full attention. The fastest way to do this is by acknowledging him for something nice he did for you. It could be taking out the garbage, picking up groceries or taking you out on a great date. Men love to be appreciated for things they produce, so this gets their attention pretty quickly.

2. Low and Slow
Men don’t respond well to high-pitched tones and a lot of information coming at them. So the trick here is to speak slowly and bring your voice down to a lower octave. I’m not implying men are slower mentally, it’s more about the fact they can hear you better when you adopt their communication style.

3. Be Clear What You Need
Before sharing or making a request of a man, be crystal clear exactly what you need. Oftentimes we women speak as part of the process to help us understand what we need. And we usually start this process by talking about what we don’t want first. This confuses men because their trying to get to the “nugget” of what you want. So before you speak, clear out all your “don’t wants” in your head first, then make your request.

To make this super simple, here’s a sample script of what this might look like:

“Hey_____________(his name), I loved that restaurant you took me to the other night, the food was amazing! For our next date, I thought it would be fun to check out that new bistro on 4th avenue – it got great reviews. I’m not attached to going there next time, just wanted to let you know what I would like – but I know you’ll choose something amazing no matter what.”

These tips helped, but you’re still not feeling heard or getting your needs met? If that’s you, and you know having expert support and loving guidance to help you would make all the difference, then let’s connect. Apply for your **complimentary** >> Relationship Clarity Call today.

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