5 Signs You Are a Victim of Gas Lighting

If you’re a fan of old movies, you might recognize this image from the 1944 movie Gas Light, where a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (powered by gas) in their home, and then denies that the light changed when his wife points it out.

Flash forward to today, “gas lighting” is a common term used to describe a form of emotional abuse that causes victims to doubt their own thoughts and feelings, not trust their instincts, and even to question their own sanity.

The abusive partner engaging in the gas lighting behavior is weakening their partner’s ability to trust themselves in every aspect. Rather than the victim recognizing this behavior, their response, and taking action to stop it, gas lighting actually pushes the victim to stay in the abusive relationship. Why?

This behavior deteriorates every aspect of the victim’s trust and belief systems to the point where you begin to doubt everything about yourself, right down to your own self-worth and your abilities as a parent, employee, and every other “role” you play in your life.

So why I am I sharing about this now?

My community includes many people of varying backgrounds and beliefs. As a feminine leader with a public platform, for this reason, I do my best to remain neutral about politics. But watching the news lately has made it glaringly obvious to me how much gas lighting is going on from people in major positions of power.

The person in power claims an event/ situation/ what they said is one way, but in reality (and true facts back it up) it’s something completely different.

This is why I feel it’s a crucial time to share this topic. There’s no doubt that seeing this in the news, coming from powerful leaders, could possibly be reflecting behavior you have experienced in the past or are experiencing right now.

I want you to see it because it is so blatant that it will help you identify this abuse in your own relationships so you can put a STOP to it (because darling, you deserve SO much better!)

Not sure if this is you? Check out the 5 signs of gas lighting:

  • Diverting your conversation by asking things like “is this another crazy idea you’ve come up with” or by blaming others for planting ideas in your head. “Did your mother tell you that?”
  • The abuser pretends not to understand something you say, refuses to listen, or blames you for trying to confuse them.
  • Discounting your thoughts and feelings by telling you that you’re too picky, sensitive, or need to let things go. They make you feel unheard and unimportant.
  • Accuses you of making stuff up when you’re sure they’ve committed or promised something. “I don’t know what you’re talking about — I never told you I’d do that.”
  • Saying things like “You’ve lost your mind”, “That never happened”, or “Have you gone crazy?”

If gas lighting was behavior that a potential partner displayed from the beginning, you might immediately recognize it as abusive and break up with them pronto. But gas lighting tends to happen over time… gradually — to the point where you don’t even notice it or it seems rather harmless. But when you’re exposed to this behavior continuously, it begins to erode the very core of who you believe yourself to be.

As a victim of gas lighting, you unconsciously start to believe the abuser and allow them to define your new reality. This situation is difficult to recognize and escape from when it goes so deep.

Learning to trust yourself again is critical to eliminating gas lighting from your life, healing from it, and never allowing it in your life again.

If during your self-check, you see that you’ve fallen prey to a gas lighter, start looking to other people whom you trust innately to share your thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Someone more removed from the situation is better qualified to provide honest feedback so that you can take steps to release this person from your life.

Don’t be fooled by an abuser. You are worthy, lovable, and deserve healthy relationships in your life. Please don’t settle for anything less.

Are you struggling to move forward in your love life because past hurt/ abuse in relationships? I have helped over 200 women just like you attract their ideal partner – and I would love you to be my next success story (you can do this!) This is why I make sure all of my private clients receive the highest level of attention from me so you never lose your way. Check out my Queen of Hearts Service Menu and let’s connect for a FREE call so we can create your best next steps.

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