3 Tips to Help You Avoid Communication Breakdown


I am so loving a great series I came across: Halt & Catch Fire. The drama, set in the 1980s, tells the story of Compaq Computers and how the company cloned IBM to create an empire.

I am not a tech gal by any stretch – and you’re probably wondering how this connects with communication in relationships. Well, based on a recent episode, quite a bit actually.

Let me briefly share about this last episode, and you’ll see what I mean.

Last week, the two characters who play couple (Donna & Gordon) finally have the house to themselves for the first time in 17 years. No kids, no housemates. And rather than go camping, they decided to have a sexy weekend at home.

The last day of this weekend, we see them relaxing in bed together, clearly in the afterglow of spending an intimate weekend reconnecting as a couple. But things shift quickly when Gordon shares about a time they spent together in the past – that meant a lot to him, and she’s just kinda “meh” about it.

Gordon is devastated by her response – but doesn’t say anything. The next day, you see Gordon making the house clinically clean, while Donna slowly sashays down the stairs, and mentions how much she’s looking forward to the brunch they planned.

Gordon’s response: “If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to work – there’s some pizza in the fridge” and walks out the door. Ouch, right? You can tell by the look on her face how shutdown she is.

Which brings me to my point. This scenario is something that happens for millions of couples everywhere: Communication Breakdown.

One person gets so deeply wounded by their partners actions, they’re stunned into silence. And when hurt feelings don’t get expressed, connection, intimacy and the foundation of your relationship quickly crumble – even leading to break ups or divorce.

If you can relate to this (and want to avoid or shift it) here’s my advice:

1) You and your feelings matter. Even the smallest (unexpressed) hurt can quickly grow into a huge inner – or outer storm in the form of an argument. I agree, in a long-term relationship, you have to “pick your battles” and not nag too much. But trying to bury hurt feelings or stuff them down never leads to anything good.

2) Don’t be afraid to rock the boat. This one is really important! Maybe he’s just treated you to a great weekend getaway, or you’ve lasted 3 months with no arguments – and you’re afraid telling your truth will burst the yummy bubble you’re in. The thing here is, whatever you’re not sharing – is taking up space and already diminishing how connected you feel. As soon as you get it off your chest – instant connection is restored (often feeling even closer than before).

3) Tell your truth – at all times. If you’re waiting for the moon and stars to align and the perfect setting or when it feels right to express yourself, you will never get around to it. Whether you’re standing in line together getting ice cream, or entertaining the in-laws, anytime is a good time to tell a man what you need in that moment. It’s a win/ win for both of you because you get heard, and he’s rewarded with a happy woman by his side!

This is only a few the many ways possible to create a deeply fulfilling connection with a man. If your in a place where you’ve lost hope, given up or keep thinking you should be able to figure this out on your ownbut never do – then I invite you to apply to be one of 5 lucky women I’m opening up my schedule to serve as a Diamond Client so you have all the tools you need to create lasting love.

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