The other day I got a call from a woman telling me how disappointed she was that she still hadn’t found her life partner.
My heart went out to her. This woman is attractive, intelligent, and financially independent. She knows she has great qualities to offer – making it all the more frustrating that her perfect partner isn’t showing up.
I always remembered this woman as emanating a personal magnetism that was a delight to be around. It wasn’t easy in this call to witness her deterioration in confidence and self worth. It also wasn’t unusual to be listening to this similar story from other men and women. It’s like your relationship clock is ticking and no one appears to be wearing a watch.
I see it all the time. You decide you’re ready for a relationship. Place your hands on your hips, look left to right and go “Ok, where are you?” I can relate to this because that’s exactly what I used to be like, and man did I ever suffer for it. I’d go on one date and if there was no chemistry I’d be depressed all week, completely doubting that my perfect man existed.
This went on for a long time until I decide to change one thing – my mindset! Changing my mindset was working well for me in my business, so I thought, why not use it in this area of my life as well?
For example, my entire dating life I’ve chosen to have many relationships and haven’t had any want or need for getting married. But now my goals have changed and I made the decision that I would LOVE to get married!
Now that I’ve made that decision I’m broadcasting it to everyone around me – apparently even in this blog! My mindset is one of excitement and anticipation of meeting the man that will be my life partner. I’m not feeling sad that he hasn’t shown up yet. On the contrary, I’m looking forward to meeting him!
I made this decision months ago and, in the past, at this stage I would have slipped into doubting that it will ever happen.
Instead of doubting, I’m coming from a place where it’s already happening. ‘If and ‘When’ simply don’t exist. I know that he’s walking towards me right now. He’s probably out buying a nice suit as we speak in preparation for our first date. I mean, isn’t that a way more empowering attitude? It sure beats doubting myself or doubting that the perfect man for me exists.
I get all kinds of mixed reactions – from both men and women – when I tell them how excited I am about getting married. Some are “Bravo Kim!” others are “Jeez, don’t you want to tone that down a bit?” My answer to the latter is NO WAY. It’s interesting that 50 years ago it would have been weird if I wasn’t excited and dreaming about the day I get married.
I’m not letting other people’s opinions of my excitement knock me down. If I did, I’d go right back to limiting beliefs that serve no purpose.
Look for what’s good in your life right now and think of how fabulous it will be when you get to add in a partner – not how great your life will be once you have a partner. That’s like determining your mood based on the weather!
Most single people have temporary amnesia. Single people forget that the pleasure of sharing your life with someone also brings with it moments of pain, compromise, work, boredom and a slew of other adjustments. Being single is really the only time you get to enjoy ‘traveling light’, unencumbered from having to make decisions in your life without needing to check with someone else first.
Just because your life partner hasn’t shown up on your schedule doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. You must know there is a Divine Timing to everything. So put away your timetable and start savouring being single!
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